


I Hate Myself (For Loving You)

by itzahaus



Category: Funhaus (Video Blogging RPF), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Misunderstandings, Penis In Vagina Sex, Reader-Insert, Smut, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Vaginal Fingering, best friend Elyse, reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 14:58:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16266581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzahaus/pseuds/itzahaus
Summary: Every time he sent you a text, you checked your arm to see if his soulmark showed up.





	I Hate Myself (For Loving You)

**Author's Note:**

> I regret nothing.

Every time he sent you a text, you checked your arm to see if his soulmark showed up. Nothing, just like always. So much for the soulmate bullshit. Elyse always tried to tell you but... You shook your head to clear the thought as you opened the text to see what he actually said.

  


**From: Bru**

_Hey hey, guess who just got back in town. ;)_

  


**To: Bru**

_Welcome back to Austin, B. Wanna get... ‘drinks’ tonight?_

  


**From: Bru**

_You know it, kiddo._

  


**To: Bru**

_Call me that again and I'll end you. </3 _

  


**From: Bru**

_Of coure, oh mighty empress of my universe. ;)_

  


**To: Bru**

_Mmm, better but still not quite there. Workshop it before we meet up. See if you can smooth talk your way into my apartment._

  
  


Your phone didn't buzz again after that and you managed to get back to work. Unfortunately it was statement day so you stuffed, stamped, and sealed envelopes until you could almost feel your brain melting of boredom; that didn't account for all the paper cuts you inevitably got every time either. At least your day was almost over, you thought. With Bruce in town, you needed to leave right at 5 to get ready for him to come over. Hopefully all the stuff he had to film with Rooster Teeth would be done by the usual time.

The rest of day passed quickly as you finished statements in between phone calls with customers. Most of them you just scribbled half-assed notes for, only a few being important enough to actually go through, the boss. Overall, another normal boring day of your normal boring life. "Hey (Y/N)," your co-worker called as you started to pack up your bag. "Got any big plans tonight?"

"Nope, just going to chill with an out of town friend." You answered vaguely.

"You're so boring. No wonder you haven't found your One yet." Your coworker sighed, shaking her head at you. "If you don't go out there, you'll never find your soulmate."

"I wouldn't call them soulmates if the mark only shows up once they love you back." You disagreed, really not wanting to hear this again from her but knowing just walking away meant she would follow you all the way to your car.

"It's _romantic_ . But I guess _you_ don't know anything about romance." The sneer in her voice was obvious. Everyone sneered at the skeptics. But instead of saying more, she just sighed dramatically as you started to walk away.

"That's right, I just want every happy couple to fall down and die. See you tomorrow." You answered sarcastically over your shoulder.

And maybe you _were_ skeptical about the legitimacy of these so-called soulmates. The way it seemed to work was that you met someone, fell in love, then waited until they loved you back. Their name would appear on you if they were the 'one', your name would appear on them, and you'd live happily ever after. Maybe it worked like that for some people but not for you. Every person you met seemed to keep you away so you could never know if they were actually their soulmate. So you were left grasping at any type of romantic or sexual contact at all. That's how you ended up in this weird friends with benefits thing with Bruce anyway, even though he lived in LA and you Austin. Well, that’s how you ended up now. It started so simple… but that didn't stop you from wanting it or something like it and you hated yourself for it.

As you got into your car, your phone buzzed again. This time, a call. You answered it when you saw Elyse's name on the caller ID. "Hey blondie." You greeted as you buckled up, ready to get home.

"Hey you! How's it hanging?" Bless Elyse for being the nicest Canadian ever (and you're pretty sure that said something).

"Pretty good. Hanging out with Bruce tonight. You know." You tried to keep your voice casual. It didn't work. Your friend squealed into the phone a little even though she had to have known.

"Oh, good! I'm _sure_ he'll tell you soon! He's talked about you a lot about you in the last few days." Elyse assured you. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the idea of anyone talking about you.

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Oh like..." She paused, clearly trying to think of something. Disappointment replaced the butterflies. Of course.

"He just talked about getting laid, didn't he?" You sighed, backing up out of your spot and starting the drive home.

"I mean, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that." She tried to interject. "He's a guy. That's what they do. Downplay feelings and whatever. You'll see. I know how much he likes you. You two spend so much time together when he's in town!"

"I don't know, Elyse... Maybe... maybe I should say something first. See if that opens up the dialogue or whatever." There was a hesitation on the other side of the call. "You don't think that's a good idea?"

"Bruce is... complicated. I mean you know that probably better than anyone else but..."

"But don't force him into saying shit?"

"Yeah. Sorry." You both lapsed into silence for a moment.

"You're probably right. I won't say anything but expect texts and updates or whatever if anything exciting happens. It shouldn't but you never know, right?" You forced a laugh, desperate to get off the phone now. God, feelings were so... complicated. "I'll talk to you later, babe."

"Bye (Y/N), good luck."

Once the call was disconnected, you tossed your phone into the passenger seat. You tried to focus entirely on the drive home but your mind wandered. _Was_ Bruce just using you? I mean more than the obvious. You really had no idea. While not impossible, the idea filled you with dread. If that was the case, you didn't know what you'd do. Move on, obviously, but after that? No idea.

You arrived home not long after, sighing as you parked in your assigned spot. Trudging upstairs, you made an inventory of everything you needed to do before Bruce arrived. Bathe, shave, pick out something sexy to wear, find a movie you could pretend to watch with him after you hit the bar, maybe chill something to drink... You headed upstairs quickly, knowing you didn't have too long. Just long enough to send yourself into a panic, really.

The next hour and half passed quickly. You stared at the mirror as you checked yourself out one last time. Black skinny jeans that emphasized the curve of your butt, a gray off-the-shoulder shift you borrowed (or maybe stole) from Elyse that draped perfectly on your bust, and simple black ankle boots that gave you just a little more height - you looked pretty good. Casual but not sloppy, which was the goal. You picked up the little bit of clutter in your room, shoving it all in the closet so it was out of sight. Condoms, check; lube, check; a sense of calm, you’d work on it.

A quick glance at the clock showed it was just past six thirty. Bruce should be here pretty soon. You walked into the kitchen to make sure you had everything ready for before, during, and after. It was probably sad, how much effort and time you were putting into what originally started as a sex only thing. But what was it they said? Someone always catches feels in a friends with benefits thing? Well, it seemed true, at least in your case. You thought back to when you first met Bruce - it had been a few years ago downtown after the big Rooster Teeth convention.

  
\---------------  


_Spotting Bruce from across the room was easy. Well, mostly it was hearing his wheezing laugh. Even in the packed bar, you managed to locate where the wheezing was coming from. He was probably one of the oldest looking guys in the bar but that didn't subtract from the vibe you got from him. Watching him, you saw him clink shot glasses with three other men, two with dark hair and a blond, and a tiny blonde woman. The five of them threw back their shots to varying degrees of success, more than one of them splutting on the liquor. You caught his eye and raised your bright pink drink at the laughing one before turning away to talk to the friend that dragged you out to the bar tonight._

_It wasn't long after that you felt a tap on your shoulder. Surprisingly, it was the girl from the group. "Hi. I'm Elyse and my friends are all chicken." You couldn't help but laugh._

_"Well, that's a way to make an impression. (Y/N)."_

_"Yeah well. I guess they didn't want to seem creepy?" The blonde shrugged a little. "I dunno. But hi, want to come have some drinks with us?" A quick glance at your friend showed her already flirting with someone new, well on her way to getting laid tonight. Well, that made it easy._

_"Sure. Lead the way, Elyse."_

_You followed her to the table, stopping at the bar only for a second to get another daiquiri. "Hi, I'm (Y/N)," you introduced yourself at the table, sitting carefully on the edge of the free chair._

_"Hi, I'm Lawrence." The dark haired guy with the glasses and intense jawline spoke first, probably the most intoxicated. "That's Adam." He pointed at the quieter dark haired one with the nice facial hair. "James." Blond guy waved._

_"He's my husbando." Elyse offered with a tiny grin. You snorted a little, not sure how to let her know politely that while handsome, he was definitely not your type._

_"Aaaaaand that's Bruce." Lawrence slurred as he pointed to the guy with the slightly receding hairline and fuller beard; the one who had caught your attention. "He's the main one that wanted to talk to you."_

_"Oh my god." Bruce groaned as he set down his drink and covered his face with both hands for a moment. You started to laugh._

_"Flattering." Taking a sip of your own drink, you started a conversation about the crowd. "It's crazy in here, right? I know it's crowded in the summer but that convention or whatever has this place packed."_

_"You... aren't a fan?" Adam asked, raising his eyebrows over his own glasses._

_"Fan? Nah. Local, actually." You shrugged again. "Are y'all part of the convention?"_

_From there the conversation took off, them explaining Funhaus to you and Rooster Teeth. While you'd heard of the company, you weren't a particularly huge fan. But as you talked with the guys and Elyse, you kept feeling someone staring at you. You caught Bruce staring a few times but he always looked away quickly, joining back in the conversation, sometimes laughing a little louder than everyone else._

_"You know, you have a really cute laugh." You smiled at Bruce, drinking the rest of your daiquiri. James and Elyse shared a look before making excuses for everyone to leave the table. Transparent but you weren't going to argue._

_"You think so?" Bruce asked as he finished his own drink._

_"I wouldn't have said so if I didn't think so." You shrugged one shoulder, shifting to lean slightly forward in your seat. Three mixed drinks in, you were getting a little bold. "Why don't you and I find some place to... talk more? Maybe my place?"_

_"I... I..." He stuttered for a second before looking around. "This would be a one time thing, you know, I'm not in Austin a lot..."_

_"I'm not looking for a white knight, sug," you drawled out the words, Texan accent coming out strong. "I just want to have a little fun. Live a little, you know?" That was all it took to convince Bruce to call a rideshare and head to your place._

_Sitting close to you, his warm hand slid up and down the lower part of your thigh, never straying any higher than was appropriate. After that you vaguely remembered a few more drinks, rough kisses, being pinned against the wall, and lots of orgasms. Bruce was a damn wonder with his hands and you felt everything he did to you the next morning._

_"Call me next time you're in Austin." You kissed his cheek as he stood outside your shitty apartment._

_"I told you I'm not here..." He started, frowning._

_"Oh yeah, I remember.” You waved your hand casually, dismissing the concerns. “But I'm just saying, you're a good fuck and you're fun to spend time with. Call me when you're in town and we can do this again, yeah? No strings."_

_"No strings." He repeated, considering it for a long moment. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath in anticipation until it started to hurt. He really was a great lay. "Yeah, okay. That sounds good. As long as there aren't any feelings or whatever."_

_"How could there be? We barely know each other."_

\-------------

Oh how innocent you had been. Well, at least about this. Despite the promise of keeping it casual, Bruce texted almost constantly. Little things, usually, like asking how your day was or complaining about something not recording or Lawrence's anime figures. It was... cute, for lack of a better word. You returned the text, wanting to stay in contact with the intriguing man. A few months of that and you'd started to get flutters. Flutters led straight into panic and panic led to you sobbing drunkenly into the phone to Elyse, trying to understand what the fuck was happening to you.

You shook your head as you tried to stop thinking about it. Despite Elyse's constant reassurance that Bruce must have felt _something_ for you (per her insider knowledge, he hadn't had a girlfriend since he met you and that meant something, right?), you always felt that edge of worry and jealousy when your arm remained bare. Thankfully, the soulmarks only showed up if it was mutual so you hadn't been outed yet.

Checking your phone to see if you missed any messages, you sighed a little. Nothing. What if he'd gone to the bar already? Found someone else to spend his time with. The jealousy started to gnaw at your insides as you drifted into the kitchen to make yourself a drink. A light whiskey and coke would help settle your nerves. You poured liberally, knowing you'd be calling a rideshare to get to the bar, assuming you went. The jealousy slowly eased as you started to drink; Bruce came always initiated contact, that meant he wanted you. He wouldn’t blow you off. Probably.

You only took a few sips before there was a knock on your door. As soon as you opened it, Bruce was pushing you back, kissing you hard. He held you steady with one hand in the curve of your spine while the other cupped on side of your face. "You taste like whiskey." He mumbled when he pulled away, his lips pinker because of the kiss.

"You act like that’s a bad thing. But I got tired of waiting for you, Brucie; thought I'd have to go out alone. Find someone else to spend my night with." You challenged, shrugging a shoulder like you weren't still a little off-kilter from the kiss, like you weren’t teasing at his jealousy. His eyes darkened as he looked you over, probably trying to size up if you were lying or not.

"That won't do at all." He admonished you before closing the distance between you again. "Why don't I remind you exactly why we do this every time? Because it seems like you don't remember."

"I dunno, will you be able to do it more than once?" You teased.

"Smart mouth." He growled before kissing you again, this time pulling you completely against him. Shifting your weight to press your thigh into his, you kissed him back just as vigorously. He slid a hand to smack your butt playfully before groping at you. The chemistry between you two was like wildfire. His other hand tangled in your hair and he pulled slightly on it, making your head tilt back just slightly. The kiss broken, he moved to your neck, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin, giving you goosebumps and making you more than a little bit weak in the knees. "Tell me you want it." He commanded against your skin. You let out a low whine, tugging at his clothes. "No, not good enough."

"Bruuuuuuce." You whined out his name. "Don't be a tease."

"Oh but it's okay for you to be a tease, huh?" He chuckled before biting your neck a little. "Be good and I'll make you feel good, just like always, sweetheart." It felt like lightning under your skin when he called you that. Any playful resistance was gone now.

He seemed to notice the change instantly. "Oh, is that what you want today? A little sweet talk for my sweet girl?" The noise you made didn't sound like you at all; a low whine that edged on desperate. Something about Bruce just got you going, especially after not seeing each other for far too long. "I think we need a detour before we go out tonight..."

"Definitely. I need you. Now." Well, so much for playing coy. You grabbed Bruce's hand from your ass and started to lead him back to the bedroom. He stopped you before you got too far. "Something the matter?"

"Not really." He wheezily laughed. "I just want to follow slower so I can see you walk in those jeans. Damn, baby." You felt your cheeks get warm but you did let go of his hand.

"I got them just for you to peel them off of me tonight." Something about actually being here, in this moment, with Bruce really got you talking. Being confident was almost a foreign concept to you but the way he looked at you, made you feel? You felt like you could conquer the world if he asked you to.

"Yeah? You treat me so good, baby. How about I make you feel good too, huh?" He smirked at you just so, you felt your knees get a little weak. You just led the way to the bedroom.

Bruce followed you, shutting the door behind the two of you. You turned to look at him, trying to hide your smile. “Am I mistaken or did you promise to make me feel good?”  
“I suppose I did.” He moved close to you, nudging your knees to the edge of the mattress. You tried to kiss him but he turned away slightly to kiss your neck. A surprised gasp escaped you as he slid his hands under your shirt and started nudging it up. His fingertips ghosted along your sides, goosebumps forming on your skin. Teeth nipped against you before you pulled away. He gave you a look until you peeled off your shirt, revealing the black lace bra you picked just to appeal to him. “Damn.” He cursed softly before nudging you back to sitting on the bed. “Is it a matching set though?”

“Why don’t you find out?” You teased, reaching down to unbutton your jeans. He swatted your hands away and started to undo it himself, pushing the zipper down. A groan escaped him as your black lace boyshort panties were revealed. “You like?” He didn’t answer, just tugged your jeans down your legs hard. “Ow! Watch it. Enthusiasm is great, bad pain less so.” You teased, twisting to help get the pants off.

Once the pants were thrown across the room, he ran his hand up your freshly shaved legs from ankle to hip bones. The goosebumps came back as you watched him kneel at the end of the bed. He pressed a kiss to the inside of each knee before slowly moving his way up your body, placing kisses and nipping randomly. His hands got to your hips again and he picked you up a little to push you further on the bed. You slid backwards, biting your bottom lip as his eyes raked over you. “You’re as gorgeous as I remember.” He mumbled as he climbed onto the bed next to you, leaning over to kiss your neck again.

Done being passive, you reached up and grabbed the hem of his shirt. “If I’m getting naked, you are too.” He made a throaty noise as he moved to bite at your collar bone before pulling away to let you strip his shirt off. Your mind clouded with lust as you tugged him back down into a kiss. There was no way you were just going to lay back and let him do everything. You wanted to drive him wild, you wanted him to feel you. His hand slipped between your legs and under the top of your panties. He bit your bottom lip, tugging at it a little when you gasped. His fingers brushed against your folds, teasing what you wanted but not quite giving it to you. You let out a whining noise and he chuckled as he pulled back to watch you. Brown eyes met yours and it felt like you couldn’t breathe, like you were drowning but didn’t want to fight for air. There was something between you and you could almost feel it but - A finger found your clit and then it was like fire through your body, all thought dissipating. Arching your back, you begged Bruce for more. And, like always, he delivered. He switched the finger on your clit to his thumb and started teasing your entrance and rubbing you at the same time. “Please, Bruce…”

“As you wish.” He stopped teasing and slipped two fingers into your wet entrance. For a moment, he stayed still before slowly, agonizingly, starting to move. You clenched around him as he moved expertly, curling his fingers to graze your g-spot over and over and over again. Short, gasping breaths were the only noise you could make. He chuckled as he started to move faster and faster, moving his thumb to brush against your clit some more. “That’s my girl… gorgeous, gorgeous girl…” He mumbled as he kissed your neck. “You’re so hot and tight… just begging for it.” Dirty talk _ruined_ you and Bruce knew it. You whimpered, reaching for him to be closer, just closer. He chuckled at your desperation, biting down on your neck to counterpoint the pleasure with a bit of pain.  
“Bruce!” You moaned his name loudly as you rushed towards orgasm. Fuck, he knew how to get you going, how to make you crave more. His hand started to move faster as he added a third finger, making you feel full and warm and amazing.  
“Almost there, sweetheart, just a bit more… then I’ll do it all over.” He promised in a low whisper in your ear.

“Promise?” You managed in a huff of breath as he twisted his hand _just so_ again.  
“Oh I more than promise.” He wheezed in your ear as he brought you to climax. You squeezed your eyes shut as the orgasm washed over you, but he still didn’t stop. His hand kept moving, slower now. “I wonder how many times you can come before the night’s over. Want to find out?” You tried to scoot away from him as it started to be too much, the overstimulation kicking in. He seemed to realize it and slowly withdrew his fingers. Without so much as a blink, he raised his wet fingers and showed them to you. “Look at this, look how wet you were… are for me.”  
“Well. You better use that lubrication while you can.” You managed a weak laugh. It wasn’t funny but he laughed with you.  
“Very true, sweetheart.” He pulled away and stripped off his shorts and boxers, throwing them behind him. You rolled a little to reach into the bedside table to find the condoms and lube you stocked up on earlier. Tossing a condom to Bruce, you set the bottle of lubrication on the table within reach if he needed it. But the way he made you feel tonight? Unlikely. He tore open the packet and slid the latex onto his hardness. You watched, more than a little enthralled with the knowledge he was going to be inside you.

Bruce crawled onto the bed, expecting you to just let him undress you the rest of the way. But that wasn’t the plan. You rolled over and pushed him down onto his back. “You stay there.” He raised his eyebrows at you but complied, watching you slide off the end of the bed to slowly take off your bra and underwear. He moaned when your skin was revealed in its entirety. You flushed, pleased that you elicited that kind of response from him.

Now naked, you moved back on the bed. Bruce seemed to know something was up and stayed where he was, laying on his back with his eyes trained on you. He opened his mouth to say something but you didn’t let him, instead lunging forward to kiss him hard. Lips moved against lips as you positioned yourself above him, straddling his hips. Bruce thrust upwards as you guided him into you with your hand. A hiss escaped you as he slid in, the feeling of fullness both welcoming and intense. Slowly, you lowered yourself down, tweaking your hips a little to accommodate his length and girth. He let out a low moan into your mouth as you kissed him again. “Ready for a ride, babe?” You teased before starting to roll your hips.

He didn’t need to answer. His hands moved to your hips and started to move you against him, enhancing the rhythm you set. You moved back to sit more upright to move yourself against him better. Fingers twitched into the soft flesh of your side as you found just the way to move to drive him wild. Smirking down at him, you started to move faster, his hands guiding you the entire time.

The room filled with moans as whimpers as you rode Bruce’s cock. He arched his back, thrusting harder into you. There was a spike of almost pain as he seemed to hit the back of your opening. When you whimpered, he reflexively opened his eyes and looked at you. “...bad?” He seemed unable to form complete sentences.  
“A bit. Try….” You broke your sentence to moan as he moved just so. “Try not to do it again and we’ll be alright.”  
“You got it, babe.” He gave you a flustered smile as he continued his rhythm, though going a little bit faster at the same time. You leaned down and kissed him hard, still moving against his body. The tension in your body rose as release approached. He kissed you back, hands squeezing harder on your hips. “Please…” He mumbled against your lips. “Close.”  
“C’mon then… make me come with you.” You teased, biting at his bottom lip. One of his hands slid from your hip to in between your legs. He found your clit just as easily as before. You moved against him, using a hand to press his harder. “I’m, ah… ah…. I’m close.”

It didn’t take much longer for the two of you, moaning and grinding against each other, to climax. Your entire body trembled as you orgasmed before you slumped over Bruce. His orgasm came with a shout and a full body shiver. Without speaking, you pressed a kiss to his cheek before rolling off of him, careful to not overstimulate either of you.

It stung a little when as soon as you were done, Bruce grabbed his boxers and slipped away to the bathroom. He'd been so... you didn't want to say romantic but that was the word sticking out in your mind. Perhaps thorough was a better word? He always cared about your pleasure but damn. You took a deep breath and shifted on the bed, waiting for him to come back. Buzzing caught your attention. It took you a moment to roll over the rumbled sheets to grab at your phone on the bedside table. No new messages. You glanced at Bruce's just to let him know when he got out of the bathroom. A Tinder notification. Quickly, you put the phone back on the table and tried to remember how to breathe as your stomach rolled. It felt like a knife had been stabbed into your heart then attached to a rotary to just keep twisting it further and further inside.

Taking a deep breath, you sat up on the bed and started gathering your clothes. You got dressed and then headed towards the half bathroom off the living room. Thank whatever deity you got a decent sized apartment that had two bathrooms. You quickly locked yourself in and dialed Elyse. "(Y/N)? What's wrong? I thought--" Elyse answered the phone in a panic.

"Breathe." You reminded her, your voice cracking a little. "I just... Bruce is over and..."

"Oh no, what did he do?" You heard Benson bark once in the background. "Hold on, I need to get James to walk Benson..." All you could answer with was a sniffle. There was some shuffling on the other side of the phone before Elyse started talking again.

"Okay, what did Bruce do now?"

"I just.... " You started to cry, talking through the sobs. "I really thought he'd be it, you know? But the mark isn't there and I saw a Tinder notification on his phone and... 'Lyse, why doesn't he care about me?!"

"Shhh, it's okay, (Y/N)... it'll be okay. Bruce is a big jerk and I'm going to kick his ass when he gets back to LA, okay?" Elyse tried her best to comfort you. "I don't know what his deal is but if you're crying like this, I have to get some sweet, sweet revenge."

"Aw, thanks, Elyse." You sniffled into the phone before hearing shuffling outside the bathroom. "Shit, I think he's out of the bathroom. I'll talk to you later, okay?" The two of you said bye before you ended the call.

You took a moment to make sure your eyes weren't too red from crying and then flushing the toilet to make it seem convincing why you were in the bathroom. Coming out of the bathroom, you saw Bruce standing in the kitchen, dressed and drinking a glass of water. "Oh, sorry." He didn't respond. "Bruce?" After a moment, he set down the glass of water and sighed.

"Listen, (Y/N), I heard you talking to Elyse." He ran his hand over his face. "I don't know where you got this idea that this was anything more than fun. We agreed at the beginning that this was just for fun. It wasn't about matching or love or anything like that."

"I mean I know that." You tried to interject. "But-"

"But nothing. You have... feelings and I don't and that's why this is the last time we're going to meet up. You were a great friend and an even better lay but..." He trailed off.

It was your turn to sigh. There really was nothing else left to say. Nothing could make a difference now and you both knew it. An awkward silence hung in the air. You crossed the room to the kitchen, avoiding getting too close to him, to take another drink of your whiskey and coke. It tasted god awful but you knew it would numb you soon enough. A noise caught your attention and you looked over at Bruce and he had his head tilted to the side and seemed to be waiting for you to answer. “Sorry, spaced out. What do you want?” You didn’t bother trying to keep the edge out of your voice.  
“I said do you need me to call someone. You look like you’re about to… I don’t know. Do something stupid.”  
“Oh, like you’d care?” You snorted, shaking your head. “No thank you, Bruce. Just go.” You gestured towards the door. He hesitated and, like an idiot, you hoped. Hoped he would say that he didn’t mean it, that he was being impulsive but now he saw the truth. Something, anything. But nothing came out. He just shook his head and headed towards the door with a half hearted wave.

As soon as the door closed, the tears started again and this time, you didn’t try to stop them. You sent a message to Elyse giving her the lowdown on what happened before turning off your phone. You just wanted to be left alone with your misery and the ice cream you’d hidden from yourself earlier in the week. Grabbing the ice cream from the freezer, you settled in to binge watch anything and everything to forget how to feel feelings.

\----------------

A few weeks later, you woke with a start. Searing pain on your left arm had you flailing around trying to turn on the light. You blinded yourself for a moment as you flipped the switch in a hurry. The pain sharpened and you cried out as you reached up to cup the muscle that hurt. Your fingertips dragged across raised flesh and it made you freeze. Darting out of bed, nearly tripping over your comforter, you ran to the bathroom to stare at the mark that finally appeared. _Bruce Greene_ . You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry. Instead of either, you stumbled back to your room, grabbed your phone and took a picture of it. The woosh sounded as you sent the proof to Elyse along with the caption ‘ _just when you think you’re over someone, am I right?’_ You stared at it some more, tapping the side of your phone with your nails. So now you were finally Marked.

When your phone buzzed in your hand, you looked down, expecting a text back from Elyse even though it was impossibly late in California, just like it was here. Instead, it was a call. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear…” You mumbled to yourself. Taking a deep breath, you answered. “Hello?”


End file.
